Life of Rachel

Grind your fingers down to bone
Quiet your voice, your eyes held low
Your thoughts safe and mind numbed
Working so hard to be ordinary

You were spectacular,
Didn’t look like others,
They were jealous so you
You bled your color
Uniquely gray
Just like everyone else

Now
You’re so carefully apathetic,
Planned glances of boredom
It’s really quite pathetic;
You cared so deeply that
You plotted your callousness

You lack your former vibrancy
Such intentionality in being bleak
Trying so hard to push your heart back
To fit into the the cardboard cutouts
Made with the trees from the garden
That your unfeeling hands cut down

Now you smile like butter
But you’re sharp as a knife
Thinks you’re so clever
But I learned to bite
Yeah, You think that you’re better
But I rule over your vice

I learned your language
Even played your games
I fell victim to the night
Became this city’s prey
I understand the words
That piercing flattery
You speak sweetness
But you can’t lie to me

Tell me again how you miss me
How you wish you were with me
Tell me the bullshit
you learned to survive with
I feel sad for you,
You’ve turned yourself toxic